“I think you’re ready now to hear a little story about a girl named Megan. A girl named Megan that didn’t have a very good time in high school. I’m referring to myself when I say Megan. Me, Megan.
And I know you look at me now and think, ‘Boy, she must’ve breezed through high school.’ Not the case, Annie, no. This was not easy going up and down the halls, okay? They used to try and blow me up. They threw fire crackers at my head. Fire crackers. I mean literally, I’m not saying that figuratively. Fire crackers thrown at my head.
They called me a freak. Do you think I let that break me? Think I went home to my mommy crying, ‘Oh I don’t have any friends. Oh Megan doesn’t have any friends.’ No, I did not. You know what I did? I pulled myself up, I studied really hard, I read every book in the library, and now I work for the government. I have the highest possible security clearance. Don’t repeat that! I can’t protect you. I know where all the nukes are, and I know the codes. You would be amazed. A lot of shopping malls. Don’t repeat that! I have six houses. I bought an 18 wheeler a couple of months ago just because I could.
Okay, you lost Lillian. But you got another best friend sitting right in front of you if you’d noticed, huh? So you gotta stop feeling sorry for yourself, okay? Because I do not associate with people that blame the world for their problems cause you’re your problem Annie, and you’re also your solution. You get that?”
Megan to Annie in Bridesmaids
I love Megan. THOSE PEARLS.